Well, this is a first for me. I don't usually enjoy writing. Mostly, I find it difficult to express myself in writing..much easier to talk..(and laugh!!). Laughing is very theraputic actually, and for those that don't laugh much, you should try it! After all, the Bible says it's "like medicine".
Anyway, this is not what I was planning to write. What was I planning to write? Well, how excited I am about learning to express myself more in writing..sort of a stretching experience for me. You can expect to hear alot about Jesus and His kingdom, and what I am going through and learning. I'm intrigued by the inner life more than the outer. Perhaps we can encourage each other along the way.
Well this past year, I made a decision to trek up the mountain of the Lord. In the Bible, the mountain is the place where God's glory was revealed to Moses and its the place of the Heavenly City called Mount Zion. In a spiritual sense, its the place where God's presence dwells with his people. Its about having holy discontentment. Not being satisfied with the crumbs from the Master's table. Wanting more and willing to risk all, for the sake of Someone I don't yet see, much less know. Its about learning to walk through danger, snares, overcoming obstacles from outside and inside, battling demonic forces, but mostly learning to receive and accept the love that the Father has bestowed on me, by calling me his daughter and finding that destiny of relationship with Him that I was created for. I finding out that its less and less about what I do, and more and more about who HE is and who I am in Him. This requires following a narrow road, a Path that not even many Christians have chosen to walk. Its really a path that leads to life, but at first it looks like death. (Matthew 16:24-26 Jesus went to work on his disciples. "Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the driver's seat; I am. Don't run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I'll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What kind of deal is it to get everything you want but lose yourself? What could you ever trade your soul for?) The Way is not pretty, lovely, and especially not easy. Its not for the faint of heart..there are many obstacles, many dangers on this path both from within and without. Fear is a big obstacle. What if God isnt happy with me? What if people dont accept me? What if I come to the end and it was all for nothing? What if..what if...I fail. Well, perfect love casts out fear. And gradually as I open myself up to His love, fear is being driven out!
THIS IS MY GOAL: I want to stand before the Lord, and hear him say "Well done, good and faithful servant!"
More later, alligators!!
Love, Cathy
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