Saturday, June 28, 2008
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Hope in the Midst of Hopelessness
In the midst of my own struggles today, I came across this article on the 24/7 prayer blog...
From Oria in Zimbabwe
10/04/08
HOPE in a thousand words or less...i have recently positioned myself in zimbabwe...beautiful zimbabwe.some have said "for such a time as this", others have said "why...atsuch a time like this?" It certainly has not gone unnoticed that I'mchoosing to live in a place that thousands and thousands of peoplehave left.bad governance and hyper-inflation have crippled the economy here,leaving the store shelves virtually empty. i heard someone recentlyjoke that zimbabweans have become hunters and gatherers again... thesedays its not far from the truth, in the scramble for a balanced diet.me and a friend often get in the truck and drive to several differentstores throughout the city hunting for food on the shelves. after aquick round in the supermarket the other day i found soup noodles,toothpaste, copious amounts of ketchup, toilet cleaner and local beer.no milk, no toilet paper, no rice, no flour, oil, sugar, or bread.this food shortage combined with power and water shortages, anirresponsible and greed driven government, lack of freedom of pressand speech, the HIV/AIDS pandemic, and the lowest life expectancy inthe world today, has made living very difficult for millions ofzimbabweans.the list of could go on and on.....but regardless, this beautifulcountry is home for me now. and as much as i see restoration neededon so many levels all around me....i also choose to see and believe inthe good and beauty and strength of this nation. thats what it comesdown to in the end, choosing to position ourselves in a nation orplace or sphere or industry that we believe in and want to see jesusimpact and invade for his glory. to see the gifts and strengths ofthat place, however hidden they may seem at the time. to speak lifeand love over a place. to be a part of positive change. toacknowledge what the enemy has stolen, warped and robbed but insteadhelp to usher in god's redemptive plan.my journey with this nation is still in its early days, and there ismuch to learn but this much i know already....i am here to championhope.i recently sat in front of a high-school headmaster in a rural area ofzimbabwe. a few of us had gone to visit him and chat about the currentsituation at his school, needs, concerns, etc. there i sat in front ofa tall, strong, very capable and determined man who was holding backthe tears as he explained his desperate circumstances...no teachers,no food, the majority of the teachers he had were not trainedproperly...some were just finished high-school themselves...everyoneelse had left...i will never forget the utter hopelessness i saw inhis eyes. he was barely living one day at a time, waiting, clingingto a smidgen of hope that something would change...ease his situation.across the road was the primary school...they had food thanks to aninternational NGO feeding program. we sat with the teachers for a bitand they were beautifully honest with us...they said, 'we are onlyhere still because of the children...things for us are desperate.'nearly everyone we spoke to said they were waiting for the electionsto see what would happen. a lot of people's hope is riding on theseelections. when a country's motto can be 'hurry up and wait', thiscan drain all hope.and hope is precisely what has been attacked since the moment iarrived here. of course. i have found over my travels these last 10or so years that often where god asks us to position ourselves and ourphysical lives and situations in that place often end up reflecting orrunning parallel to what's going on in the spiritual of that place.perhaps because we carry around in us the presence of god and hechooses to use us to impact and affect the world around us...perhapsbecause our battle is not against flesh and blood. whatever yourexperience this has been mine. and this time, here in beautifulzimbabwe, this parallel has been a battle with hope. i have never feltit this hard to cling to this titanium string called hope. i havenever found it this hard to believe that the dreams god has put insideme will come to pass. that he will indeed carry out to completion thegood works he has started. and yet i recognize that this fight i findmyself in is not just about me...it's never just about us. its alwaysso much bigger. no-one lives only unto themselves. in my feebleprayers one night i clearly heard god say this battle you are in tohold onto hope is a tiny glimpse into the fight my beautiful people ofzimbabwe are in right now and have been in for quite some time. standwith them in this and don't take your eyes off of me...set your facelike flint.in my hopeless freak out i had forgotten that actually HE is our hope.hope is never totally void...yes it really can deliver the hardestpunches, seem impossible to continue on with it, and sometimes evenseem to hide from us altogether...but it is never void and it isrelentless in its ability to bring life and strength to all who chooseto fiercely hold on to it...to Him. and that right there gives me thestrength to go on. to believe for change to come in this nation, forjustice to prevail, for reconciliation and redemption to take place,for this dream of zimbabwe to shine again in all its strength andbeauty.
From Oria in Zimbabwe
10/04/08
HOPE in a thousand words or less...i have recently positioned myself in zimbabwe...beautiful zimbabwe.some have said "for such a time as this", others have said "why...atsuch a time like this?" It certainly has not gone unnoticed that I'mchoosing to live in a place that thousands and thousands of peoplehave left.bad governance and hyper-inflation have crippled the economy here,leaving the store shelves virtually empty. i heard someone recentlyjoke that zimbabweans have become hunters and gatherers again... thesedays its not far from the truth, in the scramble for a balanced diet.me and a friend often get in the truck and drive to several differentstores throughout the city hunting for food on the shelves. after aquick round in the supermarket the other day i found soup noodles,toothpaste, copious amounts of ketchup, toilet cleaner and local beer.no milk, no toilet paper, no rice, no flour, oil, sugar, or bread.this food shortage combined with power and water shortages, anirresponsible and greed driven government, lack of freedom of pressand speech, the HIV/AIDS pandemic, and the lowest life expectancy inthe world today, has made living very difficult for millions ofzimbabweans.the list of could go on and on.....but regardless, this beautifulcountry is home for me now. and as much as i see restoration neededon so many levels all around me....i also choose to see and believe inthe good and beauty and strength of this nation. thats what it comesdown to in the end, choosing to position ourselves in a nation orplace or sphere or industry that we believe in and want to see jesusimpact and invade for his glory. to see the gifts and strengths ofthat place, however hidden they may seem at the time. to speak lifeand love over a place. to be a part of positive change. toacknowledge what the enemy has stolen, warped and robbed but insteadhelp to usher in god's redemptive plan.my journey with this nation is still in its early days, and there ismuch to learn but this much i know already....i am here to championhope.i recently sat in front of a high-school headmaster in a rural area ofzimbabwe. a few of us had gone to visit him and chat about the currentsituation at his school, needs, concerns, etc. there i sat in front ofa tall, strong, very capable and determined man who was holding backthe tears as he explained his desperate circumstances...no teachers,no food, the majority of the teachers he had were not trainedproperly...some were just finished high-school themselves...everyoneelse had left...i will never forget the utter hopelessness i saw inhis eyes. he was barely living one day at a time, waiting, clingingto a smidgen of hope that something would change...ease his situation.across the road was the primary school...they had food thanks to aninternational NGO feeding program. we sat with the teachers for a bitand they were beautifully honest with us...they said, 'we are onlyhere still because of the children...things for us are desperate.'nearly everyone we spoke to said they were waiting for the electionsto see what would happen. a lot of people's hope is riding on theseelections. when a country's motto can be 'hurry up and wait', thiscan drain all hope.and hope is precisely what has been attacked since the moment iarrived here. of course. i have found over my travels these last 10or so years that often where god asks us to position ourselves and ourphysical lives and situations in that place often end up reflecting orrunning parallel to what's going on in the spiritual of that place.perhaps because we carry around in us the presence of god and hechooses to use us to impact and affect the world around us...perhapsbecause our battle is not against flesh and blood. whatever yourexperience this has been mine. and this time, here in beautifulzimbabwe, this parallel has been a battle with hope. i have never feltit this hard to cling to this titanium string called hope. i havenever found it this hard to believe that the dreams god has put insideme will come to pass. that he will indeed carry out to completion thegood works he has started. and yet i recognize that this fight i findmyself in is not just about me...it's never just about us. its alwaysso much bigger. no-one lives only unto themselves. in my feebleprayers one night i clearly heard god say this battle you are in tohold onto hope is a tiny glimpse into the fight my beautiful people ofzimbabwe are in right now and have been in for quite some time. standwith them in this and don't take your eyes off of me...set your facelike flint.in my hopeless freak out i had forgotten that actually HE is our hope.hope is never totally void...yes it really can deliver the hardestpunches, seem impossible to continue on with it, and sometimes evenseem to hide from us altogether...but it is never void and it isrelentless in its ability to bring life and strength to all who chooseto fiercely hold on to it...to Him. and that right there gives me thestrength to go on. to believe for change to come in this nation, forjustice to prevail, for reconciliation and redemption to take place,for this dream of zimbabwe to shine again in all its strength andbeauty.
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
Excellent article from New Direction
"If you only look at us, you might well miss the brightness. We carry this precious Message around in the unadorned clay pots of our ordinary lives. That's to prevent anyone from confusing God's incomparable power with us. As it is, there's not much chance of that. You know for yourselves that we're not much to look at. We've been surrounded and battered by troubles, but we're not demoralized; we're not sure what to do, but we know that God knows what to do; we've been spiritually terrorized, but God hasn't left our side; we've been thrown down, but we haven't broken." ~ 2 Cor. 4:7-9 the Message
The Gifts God Gives Us
If my life is a gift, where is the exchange desk?
~ By Brian Pengelly
I remember sitting there just staring into the box. It was without a doubt the ugliest, most impractical gift that I had even seen. I tried really hard to bluff, to hide the disappointment, but even my years of training in drama and public speaking weren't going to help me mask this one: the gift stunk!
We have all had gifts given to us that we have felt this way about. We get them, but we don't want them, and immediately begin plotting how we can tactfully re-gift or exchange them. But what do you do when you get an unwanted gift from God?
Well I have had a couple of those gifts: the gift of pain, the gift of singleness, and the gift of disappointment. "Wait a minute," I hear you saying. "Are those gifts? I don't remember seeing them in the last spiritual gift inventory I filled out." But the Bible is full of examples of each of these being a gift.
Suffering a can be a gift. That doesn't mean it is fun, but it means that God uses suffering to bring good in our lives. My least favourite verse in the Bible is Romans 5:4-5 "Not only so but let us rejoice in our suffering because suffering produces perseverance; and perseverance, character, and character, hope." God gave me this verse years ago as a life verse to chew over, and I am still choking on it on a regular basis. When I first came across this verse I was just beginning to begin to deal with a great deal of pain in my life, not the least of which was realizing that I was same-gender attracted. At the time my greatest prayer was that God would just take this struggle away. I prayed and prayed. And yet it never did go away.
For many years I was very bitter towards God. "How could he ignore my pain? Didn't he love me?" And the thought of rejoicing in it made me want to throw my Bible across the room. "Was God some kind of cosmic sadist?" But in time I came to understand something: God was not asking me to rejoice that I was in pain - that would be twisted. He was saying that we rejoice even when we are in pain because God can bring good things even out of that. The challenges that I faced growing up same-gender attracted were not good things in and of themselves, but they were a gift in that God used them to bring good things in my life. I would never have chosen SGA if anyone had bothered to consult with me. But my experiences with it have been the catalyst for tremendous spiritual growth in my life. I have a hard time picturing who I would be without that experience. So I count it as a gift.
Singleness was another gift I never really wanted, but was given for a significant part of my life. I spent a great deal of time complaining to God about it in my twenties as I watched friend after friend get married. I remember going to my 10 year reunion and being the only one there not married or in a significant relationship. I was miserable and bitter. I spent a great deal of time thinking about how much better my life would be if only I was married. In fact it seemed to me if only I could deal with that issue, everything else in my life would magically be okay.
My perspective on this has changed somewhat since I got married two years ago. That is not to say that marriage is bad and I wish I were single again. I love being married. Marriage is a gift, and I treasure it dearly. But time has given me the wisdom to see that singleness was a gift too. There were things I was able to do both personally and in ministry that I can not do now as a married man. The freedom that I had to pick up my life and move across the continent if an opportunity so arose, to travel without worrying about leaving my spouse behind, to have the luxury of time to invest in so many people over the years because I was not investing that time in my marriage, were all gifts. Even as I enjoy new gifts of a different kind of intimacy and security in my marriage, I miss the gifts of singleness that I had.
And as I talk to many people around Canada it often seems the single ones are longing for when they will be married, and the married ones are longing for the freedom of the good old days when they were single. Which has led me to understand that while singleness and marriage are both gifts, and both good, we should focus our energies on being thankful for the gift we do have rather than longing for what we don't.
That brings me to disappointment. You see, being married did not magically make all disappointment in my life go away. One of the things that I have always wanted to be in life is a father. Yet even after getting married I have discovered that for various reasons that will probably not ever happen.
The temptation is there to be bitter. It is easy to complain to God that His gifts are not good. But I think I have learned something along the way: even when what my life becomes is not what I hoped, wanted or dreamed of, God still has good things for me.
Almost ten years ago I began to be mentored by a man who, like myself, found that he was unable to have children. But rather than let the disappointment of that consume him, he saw it as gift, and promised to God to spend the time and energy he would have put into children into any youth that God allowed him to minister to. Over the years he has tirelessly and sacrificially given of his time, love and money to mentor hundreds of young people struggling with SGA. He has been a father to both my wife and I, and could be because he chose to see his childless state as a gift, and invest in others instead of being bitter at what he did not have. His example has prepared my own heart for the ministry that God has in front of me. I do not have any children of my own, and may never have, but this is a gift, in that it allows me to be a father to many in a different way. It was not the gift that I wanted, but it is a gift that is good.
As I write this I am looking at the gift from my friend. I know I told you it was the ugliest gift I ever received but... it kind of grew on me over the years. A while ago I found it in a box, and decided to put it out. It gave the room... character. I still don't know exactly what my friend was thinking when she bought it for me, but when I look at it now I think about how she dragged its considerable weight a great distance to bring it to me. Now when I look at it I smile. While it is not the gift I would have chosen, it was given in love. And it helps remind me on the hard days... and there are plenty... to be thankful for the gifts I have.
The Gifts God Gives UsIf my life is a gift, where is the exchange desk?
~ By Brian Pengelly
I remember sitting there just staring into the box. It was without a doubt the ugliest, most impractical gift that I had even seen. I tried really hard to bluff, to hide the disappointment, but even my years of training in drama and public speaking weren't going to help me mask this one: the gift stunk!
We have all had gifts given to us that we have felt this way about. We get them, but we don't want them, and immediately begin plotting how we can tactfully re-gift or exchange them. But what do you do when you get an unwanted gift from God?
Well I have had a couple of those gifts: the gift of pain, the gift of singleness, and the gift of disappointment. "Wait a minute," I hear you saying. "Are those gifts? I don't remember seeing them in the last spiritual gift inventory I filled out." But the Bible is full of examples of each of these being a gift.
Suffering a can be a gift. That doesn't mean it is fun, but it means that God uses suffering to bring good in our lives. My least favourite verse in the Bible is Romans 5:4-5 "Not only so but let us rejoice in our suffering because suffering produces perseverance; and perseverance, character, and character, hope." God gave me this verse years ago as a life verse to chew over, and I am still choking on it on a regular basis. When I first came across this verse I was just beginning to begin to deal with a great deal of pain in my life, not the least of which was realizing that I was same-gender attracted. At the time my greatest prayer was that God would just take this struggle away. I prayed and prayed. And yet it never did go away.
For many years I was very bitter towards God. "How could he ignore my pain? Didn't he love me?" And the thought of rejoicing in it made me want to throw my Bible across the room. "Was God some kind of cosmic sadist?" But in time I came to understand something: God was not asking me to rejoice that I was in pain - that would be twisted. He was saying that we rejoice even when we are in pain because God can bring good things even out of that. The challenges that I faced growing up same-gender attracted were not good things in and of themselves, but they were a gift in that God used them to bring good things in my life. I would never have chosen SGA if anyone had bothered to consult with me. But my experiences with it have been the catalyst for tremendous spiritual growth in my life. I have a hard time picturing who I would be without that experience. So I count it as a gift.
Singleness was another gift I never really wanted, but was given for a significant part of my life. I spent a great deal of time complaining to God about it in my twenties as I watched friend after friend get married. I remember going to my 10 year reunion and being the only one there not married or in a significant relationship. I was miserable and bitter. I spent a great deal of time thinking about how much better my life would be if only I was married. In fact it seemed to me if only I could deal with that issue, everything else in my life would magically be okay.
My perspective on this has changed somewhat since I got married two years ago. That is not to say that marriage is bad and I wish I were single again. I love being married. Marriage is a gift, and I treasure it dearly. But time has given me the wisdom to see that singleness was a gift too. There were things I was able to do both personally and in ministry that I can not do now as a married man. The freedom that I had to pick up my life and move across the continent if an opportunity so arose, to travel without worrying about leaving my spouse behind, to have the luxury of time to invest in so many people over the years because I was not investing that time in my marriage, were all gifts. Even as I enjoy new gifts of a different kind of intimacy and security in my marriage, I miss the gifts of singleness that I had.
And as I talk to many people around Canada it often seems the single ones are longing for when they will be married, and the married ones are longing for the freedom of the good old days when they were single. Which has led me to understand that while singleness and marriage are both gifts, and both good, we should focus our energies on being thankful for the gift we do have rather than longing for what we don't.
That brings me to disappointment. You see, being married did not magically make all disappointment in my life go away. One of the things that I have always wanted to be in life is a father. Yet even after getting married I have discovered that for various reasons that will probably not ever happen.
The temptation is there to be bitter. It is easy to complain to God that His gifts are not good. But I think I have learned something along the way: even when what my life becomes is not what I hoped, wanted or dreamed of, God still has good things for me.
Almost ten years ago I began to be mentored by a man who, like myself, found that he was unable to have children. But rather than let the disappointment of that consume him, he saw it as gift, and promised to God to spend the time and energy he would have put into children into any youth that God allowed him to minister to. Over the years he has tirelessly and sacrificially given of his time, love and money to mentor hundreds of young people struggling with SGA. He has been a father to both my wife and I, and could be because he chose to see his childless state as a gift, and invest in others instead of being bitter at what he did not have. His example has prepared my own heart for the ministry that God has in front of me. I do not have any children of my own, and may never have, but this is a gift, in that it allows me to be a father to many in a different way. It was not the gift that I wanted, but it is a gift that is good.
As I write this I am looking at the gift from my friend. I know I told you it was the ugliest gift I ever received but... it kind of grew on me over the years. A while ago I found it in a box, and decided to put it out. It gave the room... character. I still don't know exactly what my friend was thinking when she bought it for me, but when I look at it now I think about how she dragged its considerable weight a great distance to bring it to me. Now when I look at it I smile. While it is not the gift I would have chosen, it was given in love. And it helps remind me on the hard days... and there are plenty... to be thankful for the gifts I have.
Sunday, June 01, 2008
Divine Romance- Phil Wickham
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The fullness of Your grace is here with me
The richness of Your beauty’s all I see
The brightness of Your glory has arrived
In Your presence God, I’m completely satisfied
For You I sing I dance
Rejoice in this divine romance
Lift my heart and my hands
To show my love, to show my love
A deep deep flood, an Ocean flows from You
Of deep deep love, yeah it’s filling up the room
Your innocent blood, has washed my guilty life
In Your presence God I’m completely satisfied
The fullness of Your grace is here with me
The richness of Your beauty’s all I see
The brightness of Your glory has arrived
In Your presence God, I’m completely satisfied
For You I sing I dance
Rejoice in this divine romance
Lift my heart and my hands
To show my love, to show my love
A deep deep flood, an Ocean flows from You
Of deep deep love, yeah it’s filling up the room
Your innocent blood, has washed my guilty life
In Your presence God I’m completely satisfied
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